








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 11 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 44 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
561 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,014 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 125 | 12% |
| Smokes | 77 | 8% |
| HE Grenades | 332 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 480 | 47% |
Our logs show you have wasted $45,781 of utility $25 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 37 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Evil Alverso Fernández | 58% | 38 |
| #2 | Judio | 50% | 10 |
| #3 | MASTERCLASS | 49% | 86 |
| #4 | JORGITO | 46% | 48 |
| #5 | ES CON LARREPTIL | 41% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Evil Alverso Fernández | 58% | 38 |
| #2 | Judio | 50% | 10 |
| #3 | MASTERCLASS | 49% | 86 |
| #4 | JORGITO | 46% | 48 |
| #5 | ES CON LARREPTIL | 41% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JORGITO | 12 | 0.0116 |
| #2 | Evil Alverso Fernández | 5 | 0.0061 |
| #3 | ES CON LARREPTIL | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Judio | 2 | 0.0104 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JORGITO | 362 | 0.35 | 8 min |
| #2 | MASTERCLASS | 123 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | ES CON LARREPTIL | 92 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | Evil Alverso Fernández | 67 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Judio | 7 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JORGITO | +2.70 | 82 | 55 |
| #2 | Evil Alverso Fernández | +0.46 | 33 | 45 |
| #3 | MASTERCLASS | +0.06 | 52 | 42 |
| #4 | Judio | -0.30 | 33 | 46 |
| #5 | H&K | -2.08 | 37 | 28 |





