








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 628 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 141 matches | ||
| Faceit | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2595 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,155 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1484 | 24% |
| Smokes | 979 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 2187 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 1505 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,060,609 of utility $207 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 248 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | No4h | 74% | 19 |
| #2 | aLxB ♿ | 70% | 69 |
| #3 | Kwaxxi ♿ | 64% | 94 |
| #4 | Zyga | 64% | 80 |
| #5 | Pocket | 63% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zyga | 7 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | Patryklul | 6 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | dusiek | 5 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | Kwaxxi ♿ | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | aLxB ♿ | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aLxB ♿ | 251 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #2 | Kwaxxi ♿ | 215 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #3 | Zyga | 206 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #4 | Patryklul | 112 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | dusiek | 81 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zyga | +2.49 | 80 | 61 |
| #2 | Patryklul | +2.08 | 82 | 65 |
| #3 | Kwaxxi ♿ | +1.67 | 72 | 61 |
| #4 | Lukix | +1.25 | 64 | 58 |
| #5 | Pocket | +0.41 | 73 | 51 |





