








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 19 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
202 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 954 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 333 | 35% |
| Smokes | 154 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 284 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 183 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $79,629 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | murshu69 | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | Touk | 75% | 8 |
| #3 | MacKuteBeef | 72% | 18 |
| #4 | Dr. WilzzubB0b | 72% | 18 |
| #5 | Mato | 69% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | killaahdz2K | 2 | 0.0141 |
| #2 | hauhaBob | 2 | 0.0172 |
| #3 | Dr. WilzzubB0b | 1 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | MacKuteBeef | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Touk | 58 | 0.32 | 2 min |
| #2 | Mato | 38 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #3 | Dr. WilzzubB0b | 34 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | killaahdz2K | 30 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #5 | MacKuteBeef | 29 | 0.07 | 1 min |





