








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 558 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 252 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 28 matches | ||
| Wingman | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




77 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4696 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,210 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3421 | 24% |
| Smokes | 4096 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3716 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2977 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $973,390 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 253 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | :< | 54% | 48 |
| #2 | Gforge™ | 53% | 230 |
| #3 | man i love cats | 50% | 123 |
| #4 | Versixon | 48% | 103 |
| #5 | Winzy | 44% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Versixon | 22 | 0.0101 |
| #2 | man i love cats | 18 | 0.0068 |
| #3 | Gforge™ | 10 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Winzy | 10 | 0.0100 |
| #5 | :< | 5 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | man i love cats | 835 | 0.31 | 19 min |
| #2 | Gforge™ | 618 | 0.13 | 16 min |
| #3 | Versixon | 242 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #4 | :< | 200 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #5 | Winzy | 151 | 0.15 | 4 min |





