








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 222 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 132 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 50 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7695 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,392 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2717 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1912 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 5786 | 47% |
| Molotovs | 1977 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,987,540 of utility $220 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 284 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Roland | 53% | 93 |
| #2 | Bertski | 52% | 159 |
| #3 | Bongle McDougan | 49% | 413 |
| #4 | Perfect | 48% | 275 |
| #5 | Drew P. Bawls | 46% | 338 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | throatmeal | +2.32 | 85 | 57 |
| #2 | Bertski | +0.88 | 67 | 54 |
| #3 | Roland | +0.49 | 67 | 49 |
| #4 | Bongle McDougan | +0.21 | 63 | 60 |
| #5 | Drew P. Bawls | -0.46 | 82 | 42 |





