








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 226 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Vertigo | 22 matches | ||
| Premier | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
830 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,006 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 235 | 23% |
| Smokes | 275 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 268 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 228 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $258,707 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 23 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AnRoFi | 23 | 0.0103 |
| #2 | SyntexX-666 | 3 | 0.0057 |
| #3 | Maramasu | 3 | 0.0169 |





