








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 639 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 828 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 312 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




51 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8714 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,691 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4000 | 18% |
| Smokes | 7192 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 7440 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 4059 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,331,434 of utility $176 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1201 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Matte :) | 52% | 48 |
| #2 | Kerbs | 50% | 625 |
| #3 | Buggo | 50% | 760 |
| #4 | Petski | 47% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Matte :) | 52% | 48 |
| #2 | Kerbs | 50% | 625 |
| #3 | Buggo | 50% | 760 |
| #4 | Petski | 47% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kerbs | 17 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | Buggo | 14 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | Petski | 3 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Buggo | 2730 | 0.17 | 72 min |
| #2 | Kerbs | 1121 | 0.08 | 29 min |
| #3 | Matte :) | 120 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | Petski | 78 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | b1ngy | +0.88 | 64 | 53 |
| #2 | Kerbs | +0.26 | 61 | 61 |
| #3 | Buggo | -0.57 | 50 | 76 |
| #4 | Matte :) | -1.69 | 44 | 63 |
| #5 | Petski | -1.82 | 50 | 58 |





