








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 513 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 475 matches | ||
| Faceit | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 139 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




44 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7956 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,957 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7843 | 31% |
| Smokes | 4685 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 6440 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 5989 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,991,536 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1866 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pablisek | 60% | 50 |
| #2 | ZuwUu | 60% | 80 |
| #3 | kallif | 57% | 40 |
| #4 | Bones | 55% | 56 |
| #5 | Dizzee | 51% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Bones | 55% | 56 |
| #5 | Dizzee | 51% | 47 |
| #6 | ✨NᴏᴏмS✨ | 51% | 59 |
| #7 | Empress | 49% | 84 |
| #8 | ♠ZuLkKiS♛ | 38% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kallif | 8 | 0.0100 |
| #2 | ZuwUu | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | ✨NᴏᴏмS✨ | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Dizzee | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | ♠ZuLkKiS♛ | 2 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZuwUu | 220 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #2 | Dizzee | 118 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | kallif | 85 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | ♠ZuLkKiS♛ | 84 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Bones | 78 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZuwUu | +2.05 | 77 | 61 |
| #2 | ♠ZuLkKiS♛ | +1.05 | 71 | 62 |
| #3 | Dizzee | +0.67 | 69 | 71 |
| #4 | Bones | +0.09 | 68 | 43 |
| #5 | nai | -0.02 | 68 | 61 |





