








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 366 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 30 matches | ||
| Premier | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1800 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,034 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1536 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1617 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1347 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1534 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $777,803 of utility $188 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 48 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | kilzolol | 58% | 43 |
| #6 | Amber | 57% | 90 |
| #7 | XMAYA: | 53% | 36 |
| #8 | Travis | 49% | 37 |
| #9 | ZEEBS | 45% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nagini | 9 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | Amber | 6 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | JamesY!* | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Able | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | ZEEBS | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JamesY!* | 514 | 0.14 | 14 min |
| #2 | Able | 385 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #3 | Amber | 273 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #4 | nagini | 247 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #5 | kilzolol | 116 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Able | +3.42 | 85 | 69 |
| #2 | JamesY!* | +3.10 | 81 | 67 |
| #3 | Sotiris | +0.00 | 57 | 57 |
| #4 | Amber | -0.34 | 65 | 58 |
| #5 | kilzolol | -0.90 | 67 | 69 |





