








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 25 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
381 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,221 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 316 | 26% |
| Smokes | 199 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 336 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 370 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $171,815 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Average anime enjoyer | 61% | 44 |
| #2 | Hjazzler | 57% | 7 |
| #3 | joe | 55% | 55 |
| #4 | PepeMake | 52% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Average anime enjoyer | 61% | 44 |
| #2 | Hjazzler | 57% | 7 |
| #3 | joe | 55% | 55 |
| #4 | PepeMake | 52% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PepeMake | 5 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | joe | 5 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | Average anime enjoyer | 3 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | Hjazzler | 1 | 0.0081 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | joe | 165 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #2 | Average anime enjoyer | 155 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #3 | PepeMake | 66 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | Hjazzler | 14 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | joe | +1.30 | 79 | 59 |
| #2 | Average anime enjoyer | +0.80 | 74 | 56 |
| #3 | PepeMake | +0.73 | 67 | 32 |
| #4 | Hjazzler | -1.58 | 78 | 57 |
| #5 | XJSX | -1.89 | 32 | 41 |





