








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1020 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,577 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 790 | 31% |
| Smokes | 751 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 328 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 708 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $129,773 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Petzz0n | 67% | 12 |
| #3 | Muggen | 63% | 19 |
| #4 | They call me the MasterBaiter | 59% | 54 |
| #5 | .m | 57% | 28 |
| #6 | Gösta med Glocken | 44% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | They call me the MasterBaiter | 160 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #2 | Muggen | 68 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #3 | .m | 51 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | Gösta med Glocken | 31 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #5 | Petzz0n | 12 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .m | +6.27 | 90 | 60 |
| #2 | ♿KnullJohhny♿ | +3.56 | 83 | 65 |
| #3 | Petzz0n | +2.30 | 67 | 36 |
| #4 | They call me the MasterBaiter | -0.52 | 54 | 53 |
| #5 | Gösta med Glocken | -2.36 | 52 | 70 |





