








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 206 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1593 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,511 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 338 | 13% |
| Smokes | 680 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1162 | 46% |
| Molotovs | 331 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $743,257 of utility $214 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 71 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hayvøn | 49% | 76 |
| #2 | Pan | 46% | 13 |
| #3 | Jostrq | 43% | 68 |
| #4 | Retire_SuPlEx | 41% | 34 |
| #5 | Hobert Rabeck | 39% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Pan | 46% | 13 |
| #3 | Jostrq | 43% | 68 |
| #4 | Retire_SuPlEx | 41% | 34 |
| #5 | Hobert Rabeck | 39% | 61 |
| #6 | etflu | 38% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jostrq | 14 | 0.0119 |
| #2 | Hayvøn | 7 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | Hobert Rabeck | 6 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | Retire_SuPlEx | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hobert Rabeck | 293 | 0.26 | 6 min |
| #2 | Jostrq | 122 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #3 | Hayvøn | 73 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | Retire_SuPlEx | 66 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | etflu | 52 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pan | +1.53 | 54 | 49 |
| #2 | InY0urF4ce | +1.16 | 73 | 43 |
| #3 | Hayvøn | +0.83 | 69 | 50 |
| #4 | Hobert Rabeck | +0.81 | 55 | 60 |
| #5 | Jostrq | -1.54 | 62 | 49 |





