








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 53 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 58 matches | ||
| Faceit | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1863 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,367 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1233 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1740 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1672 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1722 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $567,276 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 604 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JreitzN | 66% | 29 |
| #2 | Zero Impact | 65% | 31 |
| #3 | Niloc | 64% | 44 |
| #4 | M1nstzz | 60% | 10 |
| #5 | Hell Hunter | 58% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Niloc | 18 | 0.0216 |
| #2 | JreitzN | 17 | 0.0300 |
| #3 | ThornDK | 8 | 0.0085 |
| #4 | M1nstzz | 6 | 0.0300 |
| #5 | Hell Hunter | 5 | 0.0207 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Niloc | 165 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #2 | ThornDK | 93 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | ♛Veeip | 82 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | Zero Impact | 54 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | Hell Hunter | 26 | 0.11 | 1 min |





