








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1284 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 506 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 249 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




76 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8514 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,806 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8695 | 27% |
| Smokes | 7673 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 7878 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 7560 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,416,629 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 389 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KeksBecken | 57% | 47 |
| #2 | babman | 54% | 65 |
| #3 | Fay | 52% | 220 |
| #4 | uɹoɥɔs | 51% | 153 |
| #5 | 1brillianz | 51% | 110 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | 1brillianz | 51% | 110 |
| #6 | snooze babman | 48% | 282 |
| #7 | akaloloo | 48% | 251 |
| #8 | itzPepe | 48% | 122 |
| #9 | GoD' Zyro | 40% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | snooze babman | 15 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | uɹoɥɔs | 11 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Fay | 8 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | akaloloo | 7 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | babman | 7 | 0.0054 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | akaloloo | 877 | 0.17 | 21 min |
| #2 | Fay | 693 | 0.15 | 20 min |
| #3 | snooze babman | 550 | 0.10 | 12 min |
| #4 | 1brillianz | 409 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #5 | itzPepe | 407 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fay | +3.29 | 84 | 69 |
| #2 | GoD' Zyro | +1.26 | 83 | 61 |
| #3 | XEROZ | +1.01 | 67 | 63 |
| #4 | uɹoɥɔs | +0.36 | 85 | 64 |
| #5 | babman | +0.06 | 84 | 65 |





