








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 408 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 145 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 114 matches | ||
| Faceit | 43 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5006 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,561 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4628 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3755 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 4845 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2333 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $663,703 of utility $75 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 236 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sVch0st | 73% | 30 |
| #2 | MaskO | 65% | 37 |
| #3 | ķ!ιιfЯος | 61% | 23 |
| #4 | Infinite stamina | 59% | 49 |
| #5 | RepieR | 59% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flyotus | 13 | 0.0120 |
| #2 | kaptain | 7 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | Infinite stamina | 4 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | sVch0st | 4 | 0.0064 |
| #5 | ↭ Call me Döner ↭ | 4 | 0.0082 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | paul | 408 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #2 | Flyotus | 240 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| #3 | kaptain | 157 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | ↭ Call me Döner ↭ | 153 | 0.32 | 3 min |
| #5 | Chaaav | 122 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BeauJacques | +2.14 | 83 | 72 |
| #2 | Flyotus | +1.38 | 63 | 72 |
| #3 | Infinite stamina | +1.16 | 75 | 70 |
| #4 | ķ!ιιfЯος | +0.86 | 47 | 74 |
| #5 | paul | +0.84 | 76 | 54 |





