








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 345 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
373 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,206 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 955 | 43% |
| Smokes | 652 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 353 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 246 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $125,268 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 77 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | weeonmyballs | 60% | 10 |
| #2 | dancing noob | 58% | 12 |
| #3 | Alertjawsjosh | 57% | 63 |
| #4 | falmiracy theory | 52% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | weeonmyballs | 60% | 10 |
| #2 | dancing noob | 58% | 12 |
| #3 | Alertjawsjosh | 57% | 63 |
| #4 | falmiracy theory | 52% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alertjawsjosh | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | weeonmyballs | 3 | 0.0135 |
| #3 | falmiracy theory | 2 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | weeonmyballs | 41 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #2 | dancing noob | 37 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #3 | falmiracy theory | 32 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | Alertjawsjosh | 18 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alertjawsjosh | +4.26 | 56 | 24 |
| #2 | weeonmyballs | +0.76 | 48 | 38 |
| #3 | dancing noob | -0.51 | 39 | 51 |
| #4 | Xy | -2.44 | 15 | 59 |
| #5 | falmiracy theory | -2.53 | 20 | 27 |





