








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 31 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 127 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1537 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,387 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 754 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1126 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 606 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 901 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $396,496 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | anci3nt | 73% | 22 |
| #2 | DaRk | 63% | 8 |
| #3 | SOVA MAIN | 62% | 29 |
| #4 | malder | 56% | 9 |
| #5 | GREML11N | 50% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | anci3nt | 73% | 22 |
| #2 | DaRk | 63% | 8 |
| #3 | SOVA MAIN | 62% | 29 |
| #4 | malder | 56% | 9 |
| #5 | GREML11N | 50% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | anci3nt | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | anci3nt | 88 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #2 | SOVA MAIN | 79 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | GREML11N | 74 | 0.31 | 2 min |
| #4 | malder | 50 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| #5 | DaRk | 22 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DaRk | +3.25 | 85 | 58 |
| #2 | SOVA MAIN | +2.20 | 91 | 65 |
| #3 | Fractal | +0.86 | 83 | 51 |
| #4 | GREML11N | +0.18 | 90 | 61 |
| #5 | anci3nt | -0.76 | 84 | 65 |





