








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 468 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 165 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3043 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,324 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2632 | 42% |
| Smokes | 971 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 1801 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 920 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,283,346 of utility $206 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 88 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | høpeful | 57% | 44 |
| #2 | The Ghost of Billy Royalton | 50% | 98 |
| #3 | g | 49% | 86 |
| #4 | benny | 47% | 59 |
| #5 | klumpy | 46% | 87 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Ghost of Billy Royalton | 9 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | g | 5 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | klumpy | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | benny | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | høpeful | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | klumpy | 297 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #2 | benny | 263 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #3 | høpeful | 200 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #4 | g | 191 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | The Ghost of Billy Royalton | 123 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | klumpy | +2.51 | 86 | 69 |
| #2 | høpeful | +2.38 | 82 | 75 |
| #3 | majix | +1.39 | 73 | 58 |
| #4 | g | +0.16 | 83 | 39 |
| #5 | The Ghost of Billy Royalton | -0.06 | 49 | 48 |





