








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 27 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 16 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
195 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 745 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 233 | 31% |
| Smokes | 221 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 175 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 116 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $94,152 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jim Panse | 73% | 11 |
| #2 | Lil Pepe | 70% | 10 |
| #3 | Krücken-Krüppel | 67% | 9 |
| #4 | π$ | 63% | 16 |
| #5 | baddltaddl | 50% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Krücken-Krüppel | 67% | 9 |
| #4 | π$ | 63% | 16 |
| #5 | baddltaddl | 50% | 10 |
| #6 | MafBaf | 33% | 3 |
| #7 | Dort Mund | 31% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dort Mund | 72 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| #2 | Krücken-Krüppel | 58 | 0.26 | 2 min |
| #3 | Lil Pepe | 54 | 0.25 | 1 min |
| #4 | π$ | 36 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Jim Panse | 33 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | π$ | +3.35 | 76 | 69 |
| #2 | baddltaddl | +2.57 | 73 | 69 |
| #3 | Dort Mund | +1.16 | 84 | 66 |
| #4 | Lil Pepe | -0.70 | 67 | 68 |
| #5 | M$ | -1.36 | 64 | 66 |





