








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 131 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 229 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1957 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,474 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 870 | 25% |
| Smokes | 714 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1421 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 469 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $580,729 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | klai | 56% | 32 |
| #2 | Riho | 51% | 202 |
| #3 | Speedy McNutt | 51% | 179 |
| #4 | G.pipes | 47% | 57 |
| #5 | JOHN XINA | 46% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | klai | 56% | 32 |
| #2 | Riho | 51% | 202 |
| #3 | Speedy McNutt | 51% | 179 |
| #4 | G.pipes | 47% | 57 |
| #5 | JOHN XINA | 46% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Speedy McNutt | 9 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Riho | 6 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | JOHN XINA | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | klai | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Riho | 427 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #2 | Speedy McNutt | 201 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #3 | klai | 74 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | G.pipes | 68 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | JOHN XINA | 25 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pretty Boy | +2.56 | 74 | 34 |
| #2 | Riho | +0.17 | 63 | 60 |
| #3 | JOHN XINA | -0.59 | 39 | 45 |
| #4 | klai | -0.94 | 45 | 47 |
| #5 | Speedy McNutt | -1.44 | 27 | 47 |





