








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 85 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 461 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4520 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,880 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5846 | 35% |
| Smokes | 4041 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3554 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3439 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,140,529 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 212 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flo | 49% | 251 |
| #2 | kreisliga.cs Beta | 48% | 33 |
| #3 | retail | 44% | 64 |
| #4 | max | 44% | 55 |
| #5 | aqkito | 43% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | kreisliga.cs Beta | 48% | 33 |
| #3 | retail | 44% | 64 |
| #4 | max | 44% | 55 |
| #5 | aqkito | 43% | 83 |
| #6 | GeileAlde | 41% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flo | 49 | 0.0094 |
| #2 | aqkito | 6 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | retail | 6 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | max | 4 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | GeileAlde | 3 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flo | 1997 | 0.38 | 44 min |
| #2 | aqkito | 524 | 0.30 | 16 min |
| #3 | max | 158 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | retail | 150 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | GeileAlde | 101 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | retail | +1.66 | 76 | 53 |
| #2 | Flo | +1.43 | 84 | 56 |
| #3 | max | +0.16 | 61 | 58 |
| #4 | kreisliga.cs Beta | -0.15 | 50 | 62 |
| #5 | aqkito | -0.36 | 48 | 68 |





