








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 237 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 34 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1136 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,796 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1419 | 37% |
| Smokes | 939 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 829 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 609 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $205,184 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 29 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HanKs | 100% | 6 |
| #2 | 𝖄𝖚𝖓𝖌𝖒𝖚𝖑𝖆 | 66% | 64 |
| #3 | beamzy | 63% | 41 |
| #4 | General lopA | 62% | 66 |
| #5 | Maddict | 60% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | 𝖄𝖚𝖓𝖌𝖒𝖚𝖑𝖆 | 66% | 64 |
| #3 | beamzy | 63% | 41 |
| #4 | General lopA | 62% | 66 |
| #5 | Maddict | 60% | 88 |
| #6 | HuyHD | 42% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maddict | 6 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | beamzy | 4 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | 𝖄𝖚𝖓𝖌𝖒𝖚𝖑𝖆 | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | HuyHD | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maddict | 744 | 0.42 | 21 min |
| #2 | 𝖄𝖚𝖓𝖌𝖒𝖚𝖑𝖆 | 153 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | General lopA | 117 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | beamzy | 94 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | HuyHD | 14 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Luka quasi | +2.91 | 73 | 63 |
| #2 | 𝖄𝖚𝖓𝖌𝖒𝖚𝖑𝖆 | +2.89 | 83 | 61 |
| #3 | HanKs | +2.60 | 57 | 44 |
| #4 | beamzy | +0.23 | 69 | 33 |
| #5 | General lopA | -0.24 | 55 | 57 |





