








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 28 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 141 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2293 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,476 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5315 | 46% |
| Smokes | 2714 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2235 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1212 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $424,354 of utility $74 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1323 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | gewi | 51% | 136 |
| #5 | Random Eye | 48% | 21 |
| #6 | Zeara | 43% | 42 |
| #7 | y3f | 38% | 37 |
| #8 | ItsaPastaShop | 26% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | thing | 9 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | gewi | 6 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Zeara | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | y3f | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | ItsaPastaShop | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gewi | 525 | 0.20 | 15 min |
| #2 | Zeara | 154 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #3 | y3f | 134 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #4 | ᠌ ᠌᠌DESPA1R | 77 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | thing | 71 | 0.04 | 2 min |





