








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 175 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 156 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2479 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,096 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1519 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1715 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1060 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1802 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $330,949 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 634 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | spamzzy | 88% | 16 |
| #2 | albo | 83% | 12 |
| #3 | chamoy | 62% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | spamzzy | 88% | 16 |
| #2 | albo | 83% | 12 |
| #3 | chamoy | 62% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | albo | 2 | 0.0074 |
| #2 | spamzzy | 1 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | albo | 89 | 0.33 | 3 min |
| #2 | chamoy | 66 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #3 | spamzzy | 57 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jardan1 | +2.58 | 89 | 58 |
| #2 | chamoy | +1.44 | 91 | 76 |
| #3 | spamzzy | -0.48 | 84 | 65 |
| #4 | albo | -1.74 | 35 | 68 |





