








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 222 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2484 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,790 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1772 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1236 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 2162 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1620 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $857,833 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 301 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Waifu | 86% | 14 |
| #2 | tRIPwire | 63% | 16 |
| #3 | DTW | 59% | 75 |
| #4 | BeastMuffins | 58% | 55 |
| #5 | ViviD | 48% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BeastMuffins | 208 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #2 | DTW | 186 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #3 | das | 132 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | ViviD | 75 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | tRIPwire | 58 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DTW | +3.46 | 82 | 64 |
| #2 | 0tnet | +2.01 | 80 | 59 |
| #3 | tRIPwire | +1.79 | 70 | 69 |
| #4 | Waifu | +0.99 | 68 | 74 |
| #5 | ViviD | +0.28 | 65 | 59 |





