








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 721 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3226 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,994 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2376 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2597 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2501 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2520 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $888,314 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 515 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ReeVerse | 21 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | SSJ2MilkBag | 7 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Pelican Plucker Particle | 5 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | PERD | 5 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | BonKerS | 2 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ReeVerse | 1657 | 0.37 | 44 min |
| #2 | SSJ2MilkBag | 825 | 0.18 | 20 min |
| #3 | BonKerS | 355 | 0.25 | 8 min |
| #4 | Pelican Plucker Particle | 197 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #5 | razzmatazz | 172 | 0.40 | 5 min |





