










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 188 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 27 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
391 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,562 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 382 | 24% |
| Smokes | 423 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 364 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 393 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $238,150 of utility $216 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 130 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Keta | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | noxn | 50% | 10 |
| #3 | Gooordon | 50% | 10 |
| #4 | Procro- | 33% | 3 |
| #5 | Sad Storm | 33% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | N a n a n a n a n a n a | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Procro- | 2 | 0.0270 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gooordon | +3.91 | 64 | 11 |
| #2 | Procro- | +3.64 | 80 | 77 |
| #3 | noxn | +1.75 | 41 | 54 |
| #4 | Sad Storm | +0.04 | 47 | 45 |
| #5 | N a n a n a n a n a n a | -0.55 | 70 | 45 |





