








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 660 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Premier | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2838 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,781 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4793 | 38% |
| Smokes | 3540 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1825 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 2623 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $819,097 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 20 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | ineedbrain | 50% | 48 |
| #12 | Idoitman66 | 49% | 67 |
| #13 | JustGelos | 46% | 81 |
| #14 | MysticalWitch π | 44% | 63 |
| #15 | 777raccoon | 38% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | N-(4-hydroxyphenyl)ethanamide | 6 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | JustGelos | 5 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | dibo | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Hanni Bunnies | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Idoitman66 | 3 | 0.0022 |





