








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 600 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 196 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2248 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,347 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2929 | 40% |
| Smokes | 1558 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1575 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1285 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,059,468 of utility $253 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 338 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mooney | 63% | 16 |
| #2 | shaw | 53% | 17 |
| #3 | tomorrowonlyheadshot | 51% | 87 |
| #4 | dodo | 50% | 26 |
| #5 | perry brown | 44% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | shaw | 53% | 17 |
| #3 | tomorrowonlyheadshot | 51% | 87 |
| #4 | dodo | 50% | 26 |
| #5 | perry brown | 44% | 36 |
| #6 | poo | 41% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tomorrowonlyheadshot | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | perry brown | 3 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | dodo | 2 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | shaw | 2 | 0.0059 |
| #5 | poo | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tomorrowonlyheadshot | 213 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #2 | perry brown | 105 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #3 | poo | 64 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | dodo | 47 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | shaw | 37 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mooney | +3.30 | 80 | 63 |
| #2 | kwonkucci | +1.77 | 84 | 63 |
| #3 | poo | +1.07 | 69 | 72 |
| #4 | tomorrowonlyheadshot | +0.65 | 72 | 55 |
| #5 | dodo | -0.19 | 71 | 50 |





