








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 667 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 96 matches | ||
| Esplay | 65 matches | 1,829 | |
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2724 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,089 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 513 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1227 | 40% |
| HE Grenades | 947 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 402 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,406,109 of utility $258 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 595 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LG | 93% | 14 |
| #2 | Eagle | 57% | 21 |
| #3 | BEENgeeee | 52% | 248 |
| #4 | Makcan | 50% | 24 |
| #5 | Yåda | 46% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LG | 93% | 14 |
| #2 | Eagle | 57% | 21 |
| #3 | BEENgeeee | 52% | 248 |
| #4 | Makcan | 50% | 24 |
| #5 | Yåda | 46% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BEENgeeee | 31 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | Yåda | 6 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | Makcan | 3 | 0.0062 |
| #4 | LG | 2 | 0.0072 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BEENgeeee | 363 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #2 | Yåda | 139 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | Makcan | 98 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #4 | Eagle | 30 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #5 | LG | 8 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yåda | +4.22 | 77 | 45 |
| #2 | albon | +2.24 | 84 | 37 |
| #3 | LG | +1.71 | 80 | 29 |
| #4 | Makcan | +0.17 | 68 | 56 |
| #5 | BEENgeeee | -0.58 | 61 | 40 |





