








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 400 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 111 matches | ||
| Faceit | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1746 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,871 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2033 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2913 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1827 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2098 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $761,262 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 261 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lub3 | 69% | 32 |
| #2 | poots | 60% | 15 |
| #3 | mchl | 60% | 65 |
| #4 | Rat Catcher | 59% | 39 |
| #5 | Purple Tentacle | 56% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Mahir | 54% | 24 |
| #7 | zeRo | 53% | 113 |
| #8 | daerius | 50% | 22 |
| #9 | o0die^-^ | 47% | 57 |
| #10 | IVEY | 45% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zeRo | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #2 | o0die^-^ | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | mchl | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Rat Catcher | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | lub3 | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zeRo | 649 | 0.27 | 18 min |
| #2 | mchl | 170 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #3 | IVEY | 150 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #4 | o0die^-^ | 143 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | daerius | 126 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | daerius | +3.19 | 82 | 72 |
| #2 | zeRo | +2.55 | 76 | 76 |
| #3 | IVEY | +1.68 | 90 | 74 |
| #4 | Mahir | +0.63 | 68 | 68 |
| #5 | poots | +0.07 | 56 | 64 |





