








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 63 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 34 matches | ||
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1106 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,888 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 829 | 29% |
| Smokes | 687 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 653 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 719 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $244,946 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Buya | 59% | 22 |
| #7 | pan1c | 57% | 82 |
| #8 | Jonas | 50% | 14 |
| #9 | Devil | 50% | 14 |
| #10 | icE | 47% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pan1c | 9 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | Sonn1oFF | 5 | 0.0110 |
| #3 | Devil | 4 | 0.0148 |
| #4 | icE | 1 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | FragDK | 1 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pan1c | 367 | 0.22 | 9 min |
| #2 | Snow | 99 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #3 | Buya | 83 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #4 | Sonn1oFF | 83 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #5 | k A M P | 60 | 0.30 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pan1c | +2.78 | 86 | 65 |
| #2 | FragDK | +2.18 | 90 | 62 |
| #3 | xavier | +1.28 | 79 | 57 |
| #4 | Snow | +1.16 | 96 | 62 |
| #5 | Buya | +0.68 | 79 | 65 |





