








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 949 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1680 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5227 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,560 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 716 | 4% |
| Smokes | 8986 | 51% |
| HE Grenades | 2087 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 5771 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,166,067 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 795 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FiEnD | 50% | 109 |
| #2 | ҽQ. JokersLounge_ | 49% | 132 |
| #3 | Blaaah | 47% | 201 |
| #4 | D'Artagnan | 47% | 88 |
| #5 | Albaholly | 46% | 124 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Albaholly | +1.31 | 48 | 45 |
| #2 | Fallout Finkel | +1.12 | 52 | 53 |
| #3 | | Bruce | +0.88 | 26 | 60 |
| #4 | ҽQ. JokersLounge_ | +0.43 | 82 | 66 |
| #5 | showus | +0.37 | 39 | 22 |





