








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 332 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 88 matches | ||
| Premier | 87 matches | ||
| Faceit | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3875 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,337 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4522 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3739 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 4016 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 4060 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $552,739 of utility $77 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Wolfi | 53% | 58 |
| #8 | ♕gainS♕ | 53% | 87 |
| #9 | andi_H | 52% | 23 |
| #10 | sH0tya | 52% | 161 |
| #11 | el flosho | 48% | 106 |





