








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 74 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
304 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 835 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 201 | 24% |
| Smokes | 268 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 121 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 245 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $121,357 of utility $178 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BaleG | 67% | 3 |
| #2 | xzollar | 67% | 3 |
| #3 | CARL | 50% | 4 |
| #4 | true commander | 50% | 4 |
| #5 | ✪ Ankan | 50% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Jimmie Åkesson | 33% | 9 |
| #9 | Kano | 29% | 7 |
| #10 | Moai | 20% | 5 |
| #11 | fs (future känd) | 0% | 2 |
| #12 | ostpotatis52 | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Ankan | 53 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #2 | Jimmie Åkesson | 30 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #3 | Moai | 15 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| #4 | Hudo0 | 10 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #5 | true commander | 10 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Ankan | +2.52 | 76 | 67 |
| #2 | Tobz | +1.95 | 82 | 53 |
| #3 | BaleG | +1.60 | 87 | 75 |
| #4 | Kano | +1.22 | 80 | 48 |
| #5 | CARL | +1.04 | 95 | 50 |





