










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1544 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,329 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2106 | 40% |
| Smokes | 1539 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 652 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 1032 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $154,017 of utility $59 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 141 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nubster19 | 58% | 12 |
| #2 | SKEVAN | 57% | 14 |
| #3 | lew | 57% | 44 |
| #4 | mac | 54% | 26 |
| #5 | KDOT. "﷽" K3L | 43% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KDOT. "﷽" K3L | 25 | 0.0209 |
| #2 | VERSAILLES WITCH | 12 | 0.0106 |
| #3 | lew | 8 | 0.0087 |
| #4 | mac | 7 | 0.0129 |
| #5 | SKEVAN | 7 | 0.0262 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VERSAILLES WITCH | 258 | 0.23 | 6 min |
| #2 | KDOT. "﷽" K3L | 197 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #3 | lew | 100 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | mac | 39 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | w1zz | 32 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KDOT. "﷽" K3L | +3.02 | 84 | 48 |
| #2 | SKEVAN | +1.30 | 71 | 29 |
| #3 | Dafuqqqqqqqqqqqq | +0.99 | 71 | 66 |
| #4 | lew | +0.86 | 74 | 39 |
| #5 | nubster19 | +0.14 | 72 | 35 |





