








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 927 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 127 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2644 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,428 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 844 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1425 | 42% |
| HE Grenades | 847 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 312 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,376,007 of utility $276 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 775 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kiwi bird | 94% | 18 |
| #2 | s5n | 78% | 80 |
| #3 | SaucyZI | 77% | 31 |
| #4 | super ultra mega squirt | 70% | 117 |
| #5 | clanman8 | 61% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | -fc | 60% | 20 |
| #7 | Vengenxe | 59% | 37 |
| #8 | k00kyy | 57% | 69 |
| #9 | ThroneHunnirds | 49% | 75 |
| #10 | Torta Pounder | 45% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | super ultra mega squirt | 18 | 0.0077 |
| #2 | s5n | 7 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | kiwi bird | 5 | 0.0133 |
| #4 | Torta Pounder | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | ThroneHunnirds | 2 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k00kyy | 333 | 0.23 | 8 min |
| #2 | super ultra mega squirt | 314 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | s5n | 228 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #4 | Vengenxe | 202 | 0.27 | 4 min |
| #5 | ThroneHunnirds | 125 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s5n | +7.18 | 77 | 70 |
| #2 | -fc | +6.06 | 77 | 52 |
| #3 | surlaw | +4.71 | 60 | 42 |
| #4 | k00kyy | +2.16 | 38 | 67 |
| #5 | super ultra mega squirt | +1.34 | 45 | 41 |





