








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 27 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 204 matches | ||
| Wingman | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2931 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,073 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 415 | 10% |
| Smokes | 1142 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1305 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1211 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $37,974 of utility $5 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | McDonkey | 50% | 103 |
| #6 | Birchie | 49% | 67 |
| #7 | cockroach in da coupe | 48% | 243 |
| #8 | nug | 48% | 23 |
| #9 | saca | 47% | 188 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | saca | 10 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | cockroach in da coupe | 8 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | McDonkey | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | matty | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Birchie | 3 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cockroach in da coupe | 375 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #2 | saca | 234 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #3 | McDonkey | 123 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #4 | matty | 67 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | nug | 60 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nug | +4.75 | 81 | 59 |
| #2 | pickles | +3.40 | 67 | 63 |
| #3 | cockroach in da coupe | +2.54 | 68 | 60 |
| #4 | matty | +2.18 | 78 | 34 |
| #5 | McDonkey | +0.76 | 80 | 50 |





