








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 26 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
765 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,792 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 243 | 14% |
| Smokes | 362 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 588 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 599 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $151,364 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IBBES | 86% | 7 |
| #2 | umi | 50% | 22 |
| #3 | Diskmaskin | 50% | 48 |
| #4 | ALBINO | 43% | 7 |
| #5 | bondeN | 30% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IBBES | 86% | 7 |
| #2 | umi | 50% | 22 |
| #3 | Diskmaskin | 50% | 48 |
| #4 | ALBINO | 43% | 7 |
| #5 | bondeN | 30% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Diskmaskin | 4 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | ALBINO | 2 | 0.0161 |
| #3 | IBBES | 1 | 0.0078 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | umi | 57 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #2 | bondeN | 37 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #3 | Diskmaskin | 21 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #4 | IBBES | 8 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #5 | ALBINO | 4 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Teo | +3.02 | 65 | 53 |
| #2 | IBBES | +2.59 | 52 | 84 |
| #3 | bondeN | +1.74 | 83 | 63 |
| #4 | umi | +1.70 | 75 | 66 |
| #5 | ALBINO | -1.29 | 71 | 33 |





