








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 384 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 281 matches | ||
| Premier | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




128 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1351 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,456 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1577 | 46% |
| Smokes | 1009 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 329 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 541 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $910,673 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1015 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝙏𝙖𝙮𝙢𝙚𝙧𝙚 | 46% | 57 |
| #2 | Extravagant Tortoise 25 | 36% | 25 |
| #3 | ♿ Robert J. Oppenheimer | 33% | 30 |
| #4 | targeted individual 43 #surveill | 33% | 39 |
| #5 | jagr | 31% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | targeted individual 43 #surveill | +5.42 | 56 | 40 |
| #2 | 𝙏𝙖𝙮𝙢𝙚𝙧𝙚 | +3.66 | 8 | 28 |
| #3 | jagr | +2.11 | 25 | 28 |
| #4 | Extravagant Tortoise 25 | -0.70 | 34 | 51 |
| #5 | ♿ Robert J. Oppenheimer | -1.42 | 41 | 15 |





