








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 34 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 15 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
394 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,618 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 584 | 36% |
| Smokes | 420 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 328 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 286 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $125,530 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 78 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Paikallinen Narkomaani | 67% | 3 |
| #2 | Sokki | 67% | 9 |
| #3 | rott | 50% | 8 |
| #4 | blobb | 48% | 21 |
| #5 | eekikka | 44% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | blobb | 48% | 21 |
| #5 | eekikka | 44% | 9 |
| #6 | niksi | 42% | 12 |
| #7 | snädib | 40% | 25 |
| #8 | juksu | 29% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | snädib | 3 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | blobb | 1 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Sokki | 1 | 0.0054 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | snädib | 168 | 0.31 | 5 min |
| #2 | blobb | 73 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #3 | eekikka | 42 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #4 | niksi | 23 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | juksu | 21 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eekikka | +1.57 | 69 | 65 |
| #2 | blobb | +1.54 | 70 | 62 |
| #3 | Paikallinen Narkomaani | +1.40 | 87 | 35 |
| #4 | niksi | +0.60 | 40 | 55 |
| #5 | jörki | +0.49 | 58 | 67 |





