








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 57 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2442 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,514 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2633 | 40% |
| Smokes | 2329 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 741 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 811 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $395,982 of utility $80 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 171 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Towny | 57% | 21 |
| #2 | Baxxxie | 57% | 98 |
| #3 | JaamBot | 57% | 139 |
| #4 | Fiddler ^ | 56% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Towny | 57% | 21 |
| #2 | Baxxxie | 57% | 98 |
| #3 | JaamBot | 57% | 139 |
| #4 | Fiddler ^ | 56% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JaamBot | 25 | 0.0090 |
| #2 | Fiddler ^ | 6 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | Baxxxie | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Towny | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JaamBot | 632 | 0.23 | 16 min |
| #2 | Baxxxie | 438 | 0.22 | 11 min |
| #3 | Fiddler ^ | 156 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | Towny | 56 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DefoNotLewis | +4.32 | 78 | 60 |
| #2 | Towny | +0.38 | 61 | 61 |
| #3 | Fiddler ^ | -0.17 | 48 | 55 |
| #4 | Baxxxie | -0.37 | 51 | 70 |
| #5 | JaamBot | -0.88 | 51 | 72 |





