








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 218 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 113 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 82 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1148 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,897 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1021 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1513 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1320 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1043 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $960,132 of utility $254 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 20 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | svN- | 43% | 82 |
| #10 | pscl | 42% | 48 |
| #11 | dK | 40% | 30 |
| #12 | Schmitz | 37% | 27 |
| #13 | rdX | 35% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .dennis | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | svN- | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | dK | 3 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | yuuz:D | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | pscl | 2 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | svN- | 380 | 0.22 | 10 min |
| #2 | pscl | 131 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | N.M.G | 123 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | SkipZ <GFUEL.com> | 109 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #5 | .dennis | 108 | 0.06 | 2 min |





