








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 751 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 332 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3774 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,990 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7159 | 42% |
| Smokes | 5283 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 3683 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 865 | 5% |
Our logs show you have wasted $946,357 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 240 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮 | 44% | 81 |
| #2 | dan erlewine | 43% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮 | 44% | 81 |
| #2 | dan erlewine | 43% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮 | 7 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | dan erlewine | 3 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮 | 733 | 0.42 | 21 min |
| #2 | dan erlewine | 96 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jazic | +1.07 | 44 | 74 |
| #2 | dan erlewine | -1.46 | 37 | 49 |
| #3 | 🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮 | -2.94 | 22 | 72 |





