








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1356 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 539 matches | ||
| Premier | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 51 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9218 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,967 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4862 | 24% |
| Smokes | 4410 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 6151 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 4544 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,759,722 of utility $200 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 889 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jimBO | 56% | 227 |
| #2 | Jernus | 54% | 368 |
| #3 | jimBO | 53% | 118 |
| #4 | Lewisleevi | 52% | 93 |
| #5 | vellutin | 52% | 318 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | jimBO | 53% | 118 |
| #4 | Lewisleevi | 52% | 93 |
| #5 | vellutin | 52% | 318 |
| #6 | Berttib | 51% | 309 |
| #7 | alBert | 49% | 85 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Berttib | 12 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | vellutin | 9 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | jimBO | 8 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Lewisleevi | 6 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | jimBO | 5 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vellutin | 1635 | 0.23 | 45 min |
| #2 | Jernus | 1270 | 0.15 | 36 min |
| #3 | Berttib | 1205 | 0.17 | 36 min |
| #4 | jimBO | 469 | 0.18 | 12 min |
| #5 | jimBO | 388 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bill | +2.29 | 83 | 64 |
| #2 | Berttib | +0.62 | 87 | 73 |
| #3 | Lewisleevi | +0.07 | 67 | 60 |
| #4 | Jernus | +0.01 | 83 | 61 |
| #5 | jimBO | -0.86 | 67 | 57 |





