








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 71 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 161 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1737 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,280 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1257 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1546 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2098 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1379 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $622,817 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 24 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Man | 65% | 78 |
| #2 | ЗАПРЕТИ МНЕ ПУДЖА | 64% | 171 |
| #3 | BULKA | 64% | 28 |
| #4 | Чудо ебаное | 63% | 57 |
| #5 | Mukomol | 62% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ЗАПРЕТИ МНЕ ПУДЖА | 9 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Чудо ебаное | 2 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ЗАПРЕТИ МНЕ ПУДЖА | 843 | 0.22 | 22 min |
| #2 | Чудо ебаное | 491 | 0.40 | 14 min |
| #3 | _ghoulman | 207 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #4 | Man | 146 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | BULKA | 118 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BULKA | +2.44 | 89 | 57 |
| #2 | Mukomol | +2.30 | 75 | 69 |
| #3 | ЗАПРЕТИ МНЕ ПУДЖА | +2.30 | 71 | 61 |
| #4 | Чудо ебаное | +2.04 | 50 | 76 |
| #5 | _ghoulman | +0.21 | 60 | 57 |





