








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 105 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 640 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




106 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8203 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 32,493 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11486 | 35% |
| Smokes | 7868 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 7713 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 5426 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,146,076 of utility $72 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 920 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dejvo | 60% | 40 |
| #2 | _𝖘𝕳𝖆𝕯𝖊_ ツ | 57% | 209 |
| #3 | y u m a 鬱病 | 53% | 53 |
| #4 | hobby enjoyer | 49% | 53 |
| #5 | Harman | 47% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dejvo | 60% | 40 |
| #2 | _𝖘𝕳𝖆𝕯𝖊_ ツ | 57% | 209 |
| #3 | y u m a 鬱病 | 53% | 53 |
| #4 | hobby enjoyer | 49% | 53 |
| #5 | Harman | 47% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | _𝖘𝕳𝖆𝕯𝖊_ ツ | 37 | 0.0086 |
| #2 | y u m a 鬱病 | 4 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | Harman | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | dejvo | 3 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | hobby enjoyer | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | _𝖘𝕳𝖆𝕯𝖊_ ツ | 965 | 0.22 | 24 min |
| #2 | hobby enjoyer | 105 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | y u m a 鬱病 | 93 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | Harman | 71 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | dejvo | 33 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | i1 | +1.15 | 78 | 71 |
| #2 | _𝖘𝕳𝖆𝕯𝖊_ ツ | +1.09 | 85 | 62 |
| #3 | hobby enjoyer | +0.87 | 81 | 63 |
| #4 | dejvo | -0.10 | 79 | 51 |
| #5 | Harman | -1.37 | 52 | 65 |





