








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 189 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
894 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,766 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 581 | 21% |
| Smokes | 964 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 595 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 626 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $347,473 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 20 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ~>Bram. ◥◣ ◢◤ | 83% | 6 |
| #2 | -_- | 67% | 6 |
| #3 | Boka. | 53% | 17 |
| #4 | Sweet-Mustache | 46% | 46 |
| #5 | wimanicesir | 35% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Sweet-Mustache | 46% | 46 |
| #5 | wimanicesir | 35% | 49 |
| #6 | Kaduk | 32% | 37 |
| #7 | Anna | 21% | 42 |
| #8 | Eristoffeles | 0% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wimanicesir | 3 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Sweet-Mustache | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | Kaduk | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Anna | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | ~>Bram. ◥◣ ◢◤ | 1 | 0.0068 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sweet-Mustache | 131 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #2 | wimanicesir | 58 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #3 | Kaduk | 52 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | -_- | 42 | 0.28 | 2 min |
| #5 | Boka. | 34 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boka. | +3.94 | 73 | 71 |
| #2 | -_- | +2.75 | 60 | 86 |
| #3 | Jyro | +2.00 | 71 | 67 |
| #4 | Sweet-Mustache | +2.00 | 85 | 70 |
| #5 | ~>Bram. ◥◣ ◢◤ | +1.15 | 86 | 76 |





