








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 476 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 203 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1770 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,903 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2879 | 36% |
| Smokes | 2146 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1790 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1088 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $538,235 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 42 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | teräsmies | 52% | 168 |
| #2 | ketanisti | 50% | 14 |
| #3 | Teme1 | 48% | 67 |
| #4 | Dopssu | 46% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | teräsmies | 52% | 168 |
| #2 | ketanisti | 50% | 14 |
| #3 | Teme1 | 48% | 67 |
| #4 | Dopssu | 46% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dopssu | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | Teme1 | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | teräsmies | 2 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | teräsmies | 276 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #2 | Dopssu | 229 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #3 | Teme1 | 160 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #4 | ketanisti | 35 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Teme1 | +2.16 | 85 | 64 |
| #2 | Ake | +0.12 | 45 | 61 |
| #3 | Dopssu | -0.26 | 28 | 65 |
| #4 | teräsmies | -1.28 | 58 | 51 |
| #5 | ketanisti | -2.26 | 35 | 69 |





