








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 10 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 237 matches | ||
| Premier | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3182 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,906 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3281 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3901 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3598 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3126 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $603,175 of utility $77 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | KeKe is back! | 58% | 24 |
| #3 | AsgarD | 53% | 271 |
| #4 | DoooZe | 52% | 119 |
| #5 | Monigah | 52% | 106 |
| #6 | chab1nho | 50% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AsgarD | 971 | 0.16 | 29 min |
| #2 | Monigah | 247 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #3 | DoooZe | 225 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #4 | KeKe is back! | 92 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #5 | chab1nho | 86 | 0.07 | 2 min |





